Hello to all who watch me and still check this place! ^_^;
As you've noticed I've been less and less active here, ahem, likely posting new art once in 3-5 months if not less. I'm so sorry for all new watchers I get. If you have tumblr or instagram, please follow me there instead.

• tumblr - if you have art blog I will gladly follow back!
  
• instagram - likewise! If you are using it for art, I will gladly follow back and keep in touch!
• facebook -  I mostly post what I've already posted on instagram or tumblr but it's easier to reply and keep conversations going!
  

As you can see I've been doing traditional art much more over the past month which I've been pretty happy with!
I work digitally at work so after 8 hours of drawing on a tablet I really don't feel like drawing more at home. I'm way more comfortable with a regular sketch book. I finally sit down and just draw whatever I find relaxing. I'm aware I'm likely loosing people's interest. I know majority of people, especially here, expect digital artworks from me. For the longest time I was even ashamed to check DA because I knew I had nothing new to show.

I tried uploading my traditional works but the amount of attention they got was abysmal compared to my digital works. I know they can hardly compare but it is discouraging. I've had drawn traditional works in the past which got over 150 faves and now getting above 30 in a month is a miracle. It feels with DA's changes I have no place here anymore and I don't feel comfortable shoving my works in 50 different groups just so I get +5 more faves. I feel like I'm trying to market some goods on a crowded bazaar. XD;;
Most of the people I used to follow closely have moved to tumblr and they either deactivated their DA accounts or stopped updating them.

I won't be deleting my gallery or deactivating the account tho! I still check the place. I still try to reply to comments around or participate in gift exchanges, especially around Christmas and Valentine's day ... but don't expect much activity besides that.

If by some chance I get sudden urge to draw digitally and make something DA worthy, I will post it here.
Thank you for your support!

Updated some buttons up there! You guys can follow me on tumblr if you are curious about any rough sketches or works. I post mostly my traditional works there.

Instagram is shots of my traditional works which my scanner decides to ruin, ahem. I need to buy a new one.

FanFyria as most of you know is my ongoing web comic. FanFyria 1 was finished this year and in September I started FanFyria 2. On Fridays are updated short comics which I did two years ago for Malta's Comicon Pilot Anthology comic book.

And lastly my portfolio page which I need to update more properly some of these days. ^_^;;;;

Anyhow! Without further adieu, LONG PERSONAL JOURNAL ENTRY INCOMING!

2014!
It's that time of the year again! Time to look back, see how the year was like, share the ups and downs. ^_^

The Good
I started a full time job!
Oh, my god... a dream job! I work as graphic designer in mobile games company!
It's great! The work experience is great, working with the team is great, being challenged is great, everything is great! *knocks on wood!* Even better; the company is expanding and branching out a lot next year and going towards directions I'd love to be part of. Currently they are undertaking a great and challenging creative project and I was placed as art director and gameplay developer more or less...and oh boy... it's so intimidating yet exciting! Like ...I'm actually doing what I dreamed to do as a kid. Sure, it's not like I work for the big shots in the game industry but this is a huge mile stone for me, one I honestly never thought I'd reach and the experience I gain is great.
In fact I'm so happy and thankful for this job that I'm afraid to get too happy else something bad will happen. (but I will talk about it later!)

So... let me tell you something cause my road till now was not easy but it was worth it. I don't know for how long I will have this job, I hope for many years ahead but ...it was worth it. So, Love your art, love your work, chase your dreams and never doubt yourself. Through my years as freelancer I kept thinking I'm not good enough. I still don't think I'm good enough. Honestly, I think my anatomy is always off, I feel like I can't shade well, I feel like there are a lot of things I struggle with while drawing. I feel like my designs are average, I feel like my backgrounds lack ...everything. I look at some of my art idols around and feel depressed. ^__^;;;
But when I started at my work place... I felt I was good enough. Good enough for what I was paid to do anyway. This in no way will stop me from trying to improve but, just saying, yes I too have artistic insecurities moments. Don't be like me. Practice, value your art, love your work, you -are- good enough!

Finished FanFyria I!
This felt surreal! I finished it! This story I started in like 2010? Wow...what a journey! XD; 
It had a lot of hiccups, a of hiatuses due to reasons but eventually it ended. I started FanFyria II this September and I love how it's turning out so far. I feel really at home while drawing it. Yeah, backgrounds are still a chore but for the most part I'm finding drawing traditional comics really my kinda thing. I hope it stays this way.

Suikoden 2 is on PSN!
A huge success for the Suikoden Revival Movement and us Suikoden fans. We fought for this and ...it finally happened! Now our hope for Suikoden VI is not that far away! XD 
I'm proud to say I was part of this! *rises fist* Much love to my suikoden buds!
If you haven't played Suikoden 2 and don't want to pay 200+ $ for a copy on ebay (yes it's that good and that expensive), you can get it for 10$ at PSN. Grab it, play it, now!

The Bad
I don't have time for personal art!
Argh, I draw digitally every day at work so once I return home I rather relax with sketching or doodling or just watch a movie and crash. It is more healthy for me but at the same time I feel like I disappoint my watchers. With how DA changed, I don't think my traditional works will be welcomed much here anymore. >_>;;
I post most of them on tumblr or instagram if you're interested.

The Ugly
You can't have such up without a major down.
In late November my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer. It's first stage and she got a surgery right away. Chemo to be started next year but...oh my god, it hit like a train out of nowhere. It's the major reason I didn't do much in December. It was just this shock and trying to let this sink in. We'll fight, we'll give all we can to fight it off. If you can spare a good thought, prayer or a wish, thank you! 

2015 Wishlist!
1. Health for my mother, to successfully beat cancer and be happy and healthy again.
2. Actually edit and publish FanFyria 1... T_T; editing takes forever.
3. Get more fit. I feel so chubby lately. >_>;
4. Continue an RPG project. Come on, every RPG lover needs one day to make their own RPG! It's mandatory dream!
5. Less tears, more smiles!

Thank you for watching my works, reading this journal, being you! I hope 2015 is great year for us all!
Have a hug
And a cookie!

Incoming thoughts on DA and my journey here. Don't feel obligated to read or reply!

I've been here for ....holy crap, 10 years!? Time sure flies. I've seen many of DA's changes and honestly, I liked a lot of them. The latest ones however make me see this site differently now. Once it was a cozy place for me. I was posting any art - good, bad, anything. I was happy to get watchers, regular commenting folks which I'd watch back and comment back to their works. It was this mutual encouragement that was making me feel really at home here. When I came here I saw various Daily Deviations which by current standards likely won't even get accepted in some of the more elitists group. But those gave me hope that one day I may get a DD too! It was just something I aspired to do so I kept pushing myself yet not go too far off from what I loved drawing. At times I felt I have no chance - I'm not drawing popular characters or artistic chicks or anything extremely thought provokative. I was and still am just drawing my characters and illustrating my stories. That will never change for me. Eventually I got a DD. Happiest day on my DA journey! Furthermore, I kept seeing friends I watched get DDs and it made me really happy. It felt like you didn't have to be godly to get a DD and that in no way did or should cheapen the DD award. These artists struggle to get noticed and getting a DD was like, suddenly people see you. Suddenly you get all the eyes on you for one day - your day.
So... through those years DA felt like place for the artists. Lately? Not so much.

With the recent changes it feels like DA tries to shove the popular artists' works down your throat with every chance given. I'm honestly sick of it. I know these artists, everyone knows these artists. I don't in any way hate them, no I do admire and follow some of them. They are awesome artists with thousands of watchers. Everyone new on DA will find them within 3 days the most. Stop shoving them down our throat, Jesus Christ almighty.... there are other artists here who could use shoulder. The new layout was made in a way to just focus the popularity on the popular folks. The lesser known artists became even lesser known. The way DDs are displayed makes just eight stand out on the today's page and the rest well tough luck for them. How is that fair?
Now spotlight on collections? Cause we didn't get enough of the popular fishes' works. Again, I'm not hating them. I simply find it unfair. They already have the spotlight, they have the attention, the watchers, the page previews. Why is DA not trying to motivate the lesser known cut? Those who are learning, who currently struggle to improve, those who look at the big shots and aspire to be like them and could use a little nudge.
Everyone complained from the change and of course nothing was done.
Somewhat that was expected.

Today I check DA only to see a green...splash, or a cactus, or a chromosome, or crossed Z...or something ... on the browser tab. I double take to make sure - yes it's the new logo. Majority of people hate it but nothing will be done. These changes are so brashly made with no asking what the community thinks or wants really discourages me. The places feels alien and cold now. I don't post as much as I used to and I often think; unless I post some polished digi work, I will disappoint my watchers. Then I suddenly realize my watchers mostly quit DA for the same reasons I feel this place is not what it used to be.

I'm typing this cause I have such mixed feelings about the site and well, that's what journals are for. No, I'm not quitting even if I so seldom post. Is it just me? Do you feel the place had changed over the years?

Argh! I'm getting so frustrated with my scanner! 
I'm using Canon LiDE 110 and it does great work for black and white works but when color is involved... oh boy. My pinks turn into some kind of washed dull magenta, my blue turns into some kind of neon bright blue and skin color instantly becomes some kind of single shade pink. The contrast is always so high and my shading is hardly visible...
I mean compare this 
instagram.com/p/tQzGsFvowH/
to this
Matter of Time
and this went under so much color adjustments just to make it a little bit closer to the original. =_=;

I've tried adjusting everything in this scanner, everything! Color channels, preferences, went through every corner of it. Unless there is some kinda hidden magical calibration option I'm not aware of... I think I'm lost. >_>; I use Photoshop to import my scanner. I've always used that with my old one too. The old one was pretty good but alas it was starting to give blurry spots and edges of the scans were turning yellow.

So... fellow artists who use scanners, any tips? Any help? Is it the scanner (whelp, it was fairly cheap, I admit!) or I'm doing something wrong here? Any brand you can recommend me which scans colorful works well? Or I just stick to taking photos of my works?

I want to return to traditional works more but whenever I do something I'm remotely happy with, my scanner chews the quality and I don't want to show it anywhere.